I could easily get a good worry going about what happens after Tuesday morning at Beaumont Hospital where an opthalmologist will try once again to put the lens in place in my right eye. It won't stay in place.
Right now, it's laying on the bottom of my eyeball. This has happened before including a couple of times where the lens transplant just shifted and had to be turned back into place. And during the most recent part of this whole experience, I've also had a retinal detachment which had to be repaired.
On Tuesday, the surgeon will do a vitrectomy where the vitreous fluid will be drained from my eye, the detached lens will be taken out and replaced and a new one will be inserted. And this is where the tricky part comes in. This has alll been done before on this eye and it hasn't lasted. Now the doctor will do one of three things to make sure it stays in place.
I'm nervous about this. How much? At least a little, with the needle occasionally shifting to a lot.
Will it work? Will it affect my sight? And, there's all the other expected questions.
This morning, I watched a video of Pastor Ed Dobson from Grand Rapids who has ALS. He talked about how this terrible disease affected his life. He would get caught up in thinking about the future and be totally distracted from the present.
He wrote a Bible verse on an index card and when he got worried, he'd take a time out and repeat it over and over again. The verse, Hebrews 13: 5-6, where God says, "I will never fail you. I will never abandon you. The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear."
In a few minutes, I think I will write that verse in my Moleskin notebook which I carry in my hip pocket.
Fear creeps into my thoughts often and I need to drill that verse into my heart.
This experience has made me think more about other people with some kind of disease or illness. In March, during my retina detachment surgery during the time the nurses will filling my eyes with drops and my arms with needles, I prayed for a friend who had breast cancer that is spreading. As they rolled me down the hall to the OR and before the anesthetic took effect I prayed for her.