Part #7--A song: He Knows My Name

On the bulletin board in my home office, I spotted this morning, three verses of a song I saved from church--He Knows My Name.  The middle verse touched the really deep parts of my soul when I first heard it at Promise Keepers at Joe Louis Arena in Detroit several years ago.  I was there with my son.

It spoke to a need that I've felt as far back as I can remember and it's one that I've carried with me ever since.  I wanted something I never had.   I wanted my father to say, "I love you, Wes."  And, "I'm really proud of you."  Never happened, even with a father figure type.

Now don't take me wrong.  I'm not so scarred that I haven't been able to do that with my two kids.  God has poured dump trucks full of blessing on me, one after the other.  But, I still wrestled with that void.

And, then with my son, Justin, I sang this verse and it was like taking an electric shock paddle to my heart:

I have a Father:
He calls me His own:
He'll never leave me,
no matter where I go

The songwriter is Tommy Walker.  I have no idea who he is, but he nailed it.  That's what I always wanted.  Sure, the answer was always right in front of me.  I knew that, but I was never able to grab onto the handles in a way that I could make real to me. 

Now, my heart's in a different spot.  I think that I've got it.  I can now say, "I have a Father."

My prayer is that others who feel that father absence open their heart eyes and see what's in front of them.  It took me a long time to see what was always there.

I've always wondered about my dad, Claude H. Thorp, if he ever felt the presence of his father, earthly and heavenly.