Sixty is the new forty
It's a big fat cliche, but I'm awed by how fast life moves. I used to relish in the fact that I was a member of the first class of baby boomers having been born in 1946. My spot on a timeline was easily identifiable and was part of the tail end of a war that this country won with pride.
Turning sixty on August 31, next Thursday, has been a sobering nugget that has been swirling around in my neurons for more than a year and a half. I realize in a much more personal way that I have more life behind me than I have ahead of me. Ouch.
I'm not quite ready to pick out a cemetery plot, but I have been giving serious thought about what I want to do with the rest of my life, regardless of when my end date is.
Things I would change
Looking back there are a lot of things that I would change if I could. I've made mistakes. I've sinned. I have had a big file case of transgressions. I can identify with King David from the Old Testament who in Psalm 51 cried out to God for forgiveness. David knew who he was and who he was not and he asked for help in changing.
I feel the grace of God in forgiving me and I feel his hand in changing me layer by layer, like with an onion. A big part of me is impatient at my rate of change.
But, I'm concerned about making the best use of the life I have left.
I'm still looking for my purpose. I loved being a hands on dad, but the nest is empty. My wife still works, but I'm retired from one area of my life that gave me more identity than it should have.
I feel like I still have plenty of productive potential left in me. The challenge is identifying where.
I do have some ideas that I've moved a certain distance with. But the challenge is getting out in the arena and competing in a new area.
I can see how people lose inspiration and motivation. I've always been a caused oriented person. I am a child of the sixties and of circumstances who has always tried to do something that involves making this world a better place to live in.
Getting pumped up
Finding a cause seems to be more of a challenge than it used to be. Politics seems to be so hopeless. It's more about holding power than helping people. It seems to be all about the brand and very little about the content.
I have so much to be thankful for. I've been blessed way more than I deserve. I have a wife who means the world to me. My kids are extraordinary. Being part of a family has been the greatest privilege of my life. I know that my position as husband and dad will continue, but it's transitioning.
But, I'm listening and waiting for direction on the next chapters of my life. Where do I go from here? I'm not really sure.
As the urgings move me, I want to use this blog to help me sort this out.
About my 60th birthday next week; how does one celebrate his or her six decades of life? Lots of food and drink? Maybe some, but I hope there are still some friends around. I need to spend some knee time. I have a whole lot to thank God for, believe me. I'm blessed big time.
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