I allowed myself to really get pissed off, angry and frustrated with my Parkinson's Disease. It's my voice. I can't carry-on a conversation with anybody other than myself and that's not been too stellar lately.
I want to be able to talk and hold a conversation with my wife, my kids and my grandkids. I want to be able to talk over the phone and hold a decent conversation with anybody without getting frustrated about not being able to form my thoughts into clearly understood words.
This morning sitting on the couch as we read our email, Facebook and news stories, I tried to share what I was reading. But I had trouble getting my voice to carry to the other end of the couch. That ticked me off. I could have cussed, cried and complained.
I hadn't yet done my exercises that I learned in speech therapy for Parkinson patients. I asked my wife to measure me on her decibel meter on her phone.
When we sat at the kitchen table to do them, I found that I was still totally frustrated. I tried to flat hand our oak table.
Using my frustration, aka anger, I belted out some of the strongest and clearest voice yet. I need to be able to box up that frustration and save it for when I want to talk. I'll try this out when I talk with my friend Ken over the phone at noon when he and I do a Bible study together about Jesus.
I pray that God will give me the power to not let PD become a prison for me. With his help, I can beat this. I need my wife and my family to get this done.
I've just added doing a TED talk to my bucket list.