I still feel like a deer on a Michigan highway that’s standing in the middle of the road late at night. You see them standing there staring at you as you barrel down the road. They don’t move.
It’s been two months since I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s Disease and my life has changed. First, the diagnosis has done wonders for my prayer life. I’m in constant contact with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. It’s like I have them on speed dial.
My once strong voice has become a whisper on many occasions. I had a voice that could be heard in the other room. I could never whisper comfortably for fear that somebody would hear me talking. I now have to practice talking in a coffee shop environment like a Starbucks where there’s music.
I’m stooped over when I walk. I have to consciously remind myself to pull my shoulders back. My back hurts more and I have a Parkinson’s shuffle when I walk. I have to tell myself that I need to walk heel to toe.
So what’s the answer?
God has become more real to me. I know that he speaks to me through the Bible and I try to read each verse listening for what he says to me. This is particularly true of the Psalms which are prayers and songs.
Have I asked God to heal me? You bet. There’s a good likelihood that he won’t. Will he be with me as I walk through this? I am counting on that. Will he be with my wife Gladys as my caregiver? I see him everyday in her and how she love me.
What about Rock Steady Boxing for Parkinson’s patients which is non-contact? You learn all the moves and the discipline of boxing and you participate in all the fitness programs.
Because of a brain tumor in the back of my head, the neurologist hasn’t cleared me yet. They are trying to eliminate vascular Parkinson’s.
What about the above picture with the decibel meter on my wife’s iPhone? We split a small coffee at a nearby Starbucks and measured how loud I’d have to be for somebody to hear me across our small table.
How’d I do?
Poorly. It feels like I’m shouting to be heard. My wife says not to worry. I’m not there yet.
More to come.